not language but a map

writer, reader, eater of bagels. cracking inappropriate jokes to cut tension since 1989.
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hey, where the hell is all your fanfiction? 
my ao3 page is here, and i’m working on getting it completely up to date. this is my masterlist on lj, but i haven’t updated it in forever; there are, i believe, some older fics there that aren’t on my ao3. my tumblr fic is…scattered untagged across the archives of my blog, shit, i probably should’ve kept track of that. should i ever go through and tag it properly, i’ll put a link up here. 

can i write things based on/draw things based on/podfic or translate one of your fics? 
YES. YES YOU CAN. I WOULD LOVE THAT. for expansion upon this topic, please see my blanket permission post!

hey, can i record one of your original pieces/quote you in a paper or class presentation/link people to this blog?
sure! i still can’t believe i get these questions, because i am so ridiculously flattered that you’d want to do these things and also confused as to how i became the sort of person whose work other people wish to do these sorts of things with, but yes, you absolutely can! if you’re uncomfortable with citing your source as someone called gyzym (and really, who could blame you), please feel free to use my pen name, k.m. morrison, and just link back to this blog in your sourcing.

who’s this postcard person you keep blogging things at? 
this is postcard, also known as soyonscruels, also (formerly) known as oh-you-better-run, also known as resident HBIC, also known as The Voice of Reason, also known as arbiter of sanity and all things british, also known as poptart (but i’m the only one who gets to call her that). i’d say she’s the _______ to my _______, but as neither of us can ever decide which of us is which in any given scenario, suffice to say she’s the good idea to my hideously bad one, or possibly the extinguisher to my, uh, semi-perpetual house fire. sometimes i spam things at her in the middle of the night; sometimes i write fanfiction, and as none of it would get done without her/i pretty much write for an audience of one and that one is postcard, you can feel free to hold her responsible. 

this is the atlantic ocean; it can go fuck itself. 

are you the same gyzym who wrote [that one tumblr post/that coffeeshop fic/that fratboy fic/that fic about tony and steve and a baby/that fic where everyone in inception was a winnie the pooh character/that fic where holmes and watson were stoned american grad students/that domesticverse fic/etc]? 
i am, as far as i can tell, the only gyzym currently roaming the high seas of the internet; i’m gyzym here, gyzym on ao3, gyzym on twitter, gyzym on dreamwidth, gyzym on lj, etc. it’s generally safe to assume that, yes, whatever heinous crime against reason was committed under this username, i was probably behind it :D 

you are aware that your username means, uh…you know what it means, right? 
yes, yes i do. this is part of why i am fairly certain i am the only gyzym; who else would make that mistake and then stick with it once they’ve found themselves out? alas, i only meant to reference allan ginsberg’s howl—i was young! i was inexperienced! i didn’t actually say it out loud first! by the time i realized i’d essentially named myself semen, it was far too late. 

and how do you pronounce that username, while we’re at it? 
oh, like you’d imagine. we might as well call a spade a spade. you’d say it jizz-um, and you can also feel free to call me gyz, jizz, or jizzy; seriously, everyone else does. 

i sent you an ask and you didn’t answer me; DO YOU HATE ME
no!! no!!! you are awesome and i am not, i am so sorry!! i am just, jesus, i am so flaky, you guys, i’m sorry, it’s really not you. your messages make my day, but i get caught up in doing things and i forget to answer stuff, or i start to answer something and switch tabs/machines and think i’ve hit send and then find it six days later and feel like an awkward asshole and close out of it in a panic, I’M ACTUALLY A DEEPLY TERRIBLE COMMUNICATOR, ASK ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME. also, sometimes i just legitimately don’t get things that were sent to me, because i check tumblr on like six different platforms on any given day and shit falls through the cracks. if it’s something you need an answer to and you haven’t heard back within like 48 hours? send it again, and i will work hard to suck less. 

will you tell me your feels about [insert character or issue here]? 
um. maybe! sometimes i am very loquacious (read: avoiding writing) and sometimes i am fairly silent (read: writing). also, there are some characters/topics i won’t talk about because i don’t feel my opinion is informed enough, or solid enough, to give you a fair answer! and then on the other hand there are characters/topics i’ll write multiple accidental essays about, so. IT’S HARD TO KNOW, EVEN FOR ME. i’m actually not a particularly together person; i just play one on the internet. 

what’s your real life like? 
take the bluth family, add a dash of curb your enthusiasm, stir until lunatics everywhere. 

no, i meant age/location/sexuality/religion/ethnicity/preferred pronouns? 
oh! in that case: 23/ohio/bisexual (for a really extended version of that answer, see here)/jewish/white/female, thank you for asking :D 

dude, when is [insert fic title here] going to update? 
believe me when i tell you, no one wishes they could offer a firm, solid answer to this question more than me, but sometimes shit just doesn’t flow. sometimes it flows MADLY. it’s hard to know what’s going to come when (and i’ve tried, to no avail, to figure out what makes it happen), but i promise i am doing my best!

any tips for curing writer’s block? 
write the scene you’re most looking forward to. write something else. stop writing and go stand outside for ten minutes (this is smoker’s advice, but i swear to god it helps). watch a movie. try some new music. try no music. read something you love. read something you HATE. read some poetry. worry less about whether you’re saying it right. worry less about whether people are going to read it. worry about what your characters are worrying about. find a good writing buddy—this is INVALUABLE—who doesn’t talk you down, but doesn’t take you too seriously, either. stop looking at the cesspools of negativity littered across the internet; even when they are not about you, they will lower your confidence. 

mostly, mostly, the really really really big one: it’s okay, if it’s not coming. it’s okay. the more you beat up on yourself about the fact that the words aren’t there, the longer they will stay hidden, and writer’s block is a total normal part of the writing cycle. take a breath. take another one. the words will come back, it just might take a little while. 

describe yourself in five words or less: 

life motto? 
eric northman for god king of louisiana.