not language but a map

Oct 19

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Oct 18

suzybishops said: TELL ME ABOUT YR DAILY MAKEUP ROUTINE and also about which harry potter characters should make out and which marvel characters should make out

DAILY MAKEUP ROUTINE: ideally, I start with moisturizer, but by “ideally” I mean “almost never” because even though moisturizer is just a few additional moments of rubbing stuff on my face in a whole long list of rubbing stuff on my face, for some reason I seem to find it objectionable. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU. Then concealer, under my eyes/on my eyelids/over any blemishes, applied with my fingers; then foundation, which I currently apply with a big fluffy brush that is technically for powder, but I change around foundation and brushes every few months. Then bronzer — at my temples and swept lightly underneath my cheekbones and chin with a blush brush — and the I use the same brush to add a little bit of blush on the apples of my cheek. I do my eyes next but that varies day by day: sometimes I use liquid liner and sometimes pencil and sometimes gel; sometimes I use three eyeshadow and sometimes one and sometimes none; sometimes my eyeliner is brown and sometimes it’s black and sometimes it’s navy blue or grey or purple; I rotate between like 4 different mascaras. This, I should be clear, is because eye makeup is FUN for me — nobody’s routine should be this intensive unless they, like me, are a makeup freak. And then last brows and lips, because the heaviness of my brows sometimes determines my lip color, and vice versa.

Regarding which characters should make out, tbh my feeling is ALL OF THEM, so long as it is convincingly written. For example, until recently I only passively shipped Tony/Bruce and didn’t ship Tony/Hulk at all, and then I read this amazing fic called Irreconcilable Differences (that I can’t link to because I’m on mobile but which you should read) and now I’m obsessed. Writing over everything, is my feeling. I’ll buy almost anything if it’s sold well enough.

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Oct 17

melthedestroyer said: Since you seem to have Certain Ship Leanings *cough* judging by your other Harry Potter-related answer, what are your favorite Harry/Draco fanfictions? Or if they're not something you generally read, what is your headcanon for their relationship?

While I do read Harry/Draco, I tragically cannot give you a list of my favorites because — and this is why you should never ask me for fic recs, guys — I am the least organized person on the face of the earth and I don’t remember the titles or authors of things I’ve read for more than about 20 minutes after I’ve finished reading them. So if I were going to make you a list of my favorite Harry/Draco fics it would look something like this: 

DON’T BE LIKE ME, KIDS. It’s a weird, messy life I lead.

In terms of my headcanons for what their relationship is like: volatile, because that’s more or less what stability looks like for both of them, deeply fucked up as they are. Draco caring an immense amount and not being able to say so. Harry caring an immense amount and saying so constantly, but in horrible ways that typically feature shouting and drive Draco completely insane. Shared disdain for most of the rest of humanity that Harry pretends is irritability due to his high-stress job and that Draco knows is disdain because people are terrible and inferior and if the world worked according to him he would be their aloof god king. Getting hideously drunk together on holidays until they can laugh like they’re not both thinking of family dead or imprisoned. Teasing and prodding the best and the worst out of each other. A lot of prank voicemails. 

esmenet said: eyeliner advice? i've gotten medium-decent at gel and liquid over time, but i still spend a lot of time looking at other people's selfies and going HOW.

Sit your eyeliner down for a serious talk and explain to it that you are the boss. Eyeliner needs a strong, guiding hand. If it can sense fear, it will take advantage of you. 

FOR REAL THOUGH: the best things you can do to improve your eyeliner game are a) practice a bunch, b) always be TOUCHING PART OF YOUR HAND TO YOUR FACE while you apply because that will ground you and prevent shaking/slippage, and c) buy one of those mirrors that has a side with a higher-than-standard magnification. It took me a long time to bite the bullet and do that last one, and I was then amazed by what a difference it made. Shockingly, the ability to actually see what you are doing has an affect on how it’s done! And like, I know it doesn’t seem like that extra magnification is going to do much for you but: trust me. It does. 

thewalrus-said said: Any advice for a bisexual lady who feels guilty sometimes about noticing the hotness of other ladies b/c they get enough of That Sort of Thing from Men? I don't think I'm creepy but sometimes I feel like I'm betraying the sisterhood by being attracted to them.

Oh man I know this feel SO HARD. I actually have a dude friend who I fight with about this particular concept all the time, because if he’s like, “Damn, that girl is so pretty,” I’m like, “Fuck yeah she is!” but if he’s like, “Damn, let’s stand here and stare openly at the crowd of women walking by in tiny shorts,” I’m like, “Don’t be a pig,” and he’s like, “I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS DIFFERENT TO WHAT WE DID BEFORE.” In fairness to him, I can see how it could be confusing. In fairness to me, openly staring at women like they’re animals is disgusting and he should stop. 

I think — and this goes for all people about all people — the most important thing is to be respectful of others. You don’t have to feel guilty for being attracted to women — you’re attracted to women! Noticing women you’d be interested in doing the horizontal mambo with come with the territory, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. Where the guilt comes from, I think, is that we were raised in a culture that objectifies women to such a degree that it has actually, in our minds, equated being attracted to women with objectifying them. But that is not the situation! By all means it makes sense to feel guilty in the event that you catch yourself behaving in a gross or objectifying way — cat-calling, openly drooling, standing in the middle of the street staring, following a woman around whistling, touching a woman without their permission, expecting or feeling owed sex from a woman for more or less any reason, harassing a woman in any way. But I don’t think someone who was doing those things would be sending me this ask, so I’m pretty certain you don’t have anything to feel guilty about. Attraction and objectification are not the same thing, no matter how hell-bent popular media seems to be on convincing us they are. <3 

mousebitten said: gyzym, how do you put lipstick on? there is just no way i can do it without looking like an evil monster clown.

I know this struggle, friend. There are a couple of options — one of them, tragically, is just “spend some hours in front of the mirror putting lipstick on and taking it off again until you get better at it” — but your best and most foolproof plan is to go to your local makeup store/cosmetics aisle and buy yourself a lip brush. I use this one by Japonesque, which I freely admit I bought largely because it’s cute and I had a $5 off coupon at Ulta that day, but pretty much any lip brush will work. You could also, if you [are cheap/are broke/can’t justify this type of purchase to yourself/want to try this method before you invest], go to Sephora, try on some lipsticks and then ask for a sample with a disposable lip brush or two thrown in. They will do that thing for you.

The great thing about a lip brush is that it gives you about a million percent more control over where the lipstick ends up on your face; just load up both sides by running them across the lipstick of your choice and then carefully fill in your lips. It will help to be sitting down, with your elbow resting against a stable surface — this will ground your arm, and keep your hand from shaking too much. You can also always apply lipstick as you normally do, and then come at your mouth afterward with a Q-tip dipped in makeup remover to clean up the edges! Experiment with it a little and you’ll find what works for you.

(P.S. If you have a lip brush or any other kind of makeup brush and you find yourself thinking, “Hey, maybe I should clean this!” trust that instinct, it’s correct. Get a bowl and put a squirt of baby shampoo in the bottom, add a centimeter or two of water, put the brush in it and rub it against the bottom of the bowl until it releases all of its pigments etcetera and turns the water a nasty color. Then just rinse the brush and lay it on a towel, ideally on a slightly slanted surface with the bristles facing down so water doesn’t drip into the glue and start eroding it — I use the top of my toilet tank — and let dry overnight.) 

autumnpug said: You're allowed to write one fanfic per fandom. What do you include from canon, what do you change, and how do you work with characterization?(for simplification, I'm gonna keep the trend of Harry Potter and bring up your Pie Situation with Star Trek redeux.)

I CAN’T ANSWER THE STAR TREK PART OF THIS QUESTION BECAUSE IT HAS ALREADY BEEN ANSWERED IN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF WORDS BY THE FANFIC SWITCH, WHICH IS THE BEST FANFIC THAT HAS EVER BEEN FANFICCED AND WHICH IS PERFECT IN ALL WAYS. Like honest to god, if I could write any Star Trek fic it…. would be Switch, only it would never be as good as Switch because nothing compares to Switch because Switch is Peak Fanfiction, it is what all fanfiction should aspire to be, god it’s so amazing. 

In terms of Potter, what I’d like to write more than anything — and I recognize that this is the result of a sickness within me but it just can’t be helped — is an AU from Minerva McGonagall’s point of view, covering her years as a student at Howarts and her tumultuous affair with Tom Riddle (I’m sorry, I know, I can’t help that I am this way), her teaching the Mauraders, her teaching the Trio, all of it. I love the idea that Dumbledore is to Grindlewald as McGonagall is to Voldemort, except that in McGonagall’s case what came between them was Minerva standing up and defending the rights of the people who would be caught in the crosshairs of Riddle’s ideology, as opposed to, you know, Riddle killing her abused and wounded sibling and her eventually turning into a terrifying manipulative nightmare person who builds weapons out of children, I MEAN, WHAT, WHO DOES THAT IN THE HARRY POTTER SERIES, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. Point being: 100 million words of complex layered screwed up gorgeous brilliant Minerva McGonagall growing and changing and teaching and guiding; 100 million words of Minerva McGonagall standing, once a year, at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, and allowing herself just a moment of the sweet ecstasy of loving Tom: wholly and with all of herself, despite his madness and his vanity and all the horrors he’s rained down upon their world and how much she hates him for what he’s become, before closing herself off to it and striding back inside. Because maybe she does love him, but she hates what he’s done, what he does, and what he’s doing, and that matters so much more than the memory of what was once between them. Because she’s stronger than that love will ever be, and perhaps she can’t help it, but she is not now and never shall be resigned. 

shellsinsand said: what's your favorite type of bread? and what's your opinion on pumpkin flavored things?

Some Breads, in order of how much I like to consume them: SOURDOUGH, challah, real bagels (ie, boiled and then baked), ciabatta, properly cooked rye bread (sometimes you go places and the rye bread is undercooked because I guess there are people who like it that way, and no offense to those people, but you’re wrong and you should feel wrong), anything with rosemary in it, and multigrain in ways I am intensely specific and weird about because — and this may shock you, tumblr — I am a deeply odd person who takes food Very Seriously and also sunflowers seeds have no place being anywhere but on top of a bread, why are they so often found inside. 

My opinion on pumpkin flavored things is I LOVE THEM, but actually I always laugh because pumpkin itself has a really mild flavor, and what we generally think of as pumpkin flavor is actually the flavor of the spices most commonly associated with pumpkin. Having said that, these muffins are my favorite dessert in all the world, and I make them year round, regardless of whether or not it is pumpkin season. They are the best. They are the top. They will ruin other chocolate chip muffins for you forever and you will not even be sorry.