“are you outta your corn-fed mind?”
la la la today’s friendly reminder that jim kirk has trust issues and doesn’t drop personal details and didn’t know most of his crew before he abruptly became their captain last time through and The Heartbreaking And Tragic Thing We’re Not Talking About That Happened At The Beginning Of ST:ID happened which means that aside from uhura who was there for the barfight in riverside bones might very well be the only person left in jim’s life who knows him well enough to make the iowa joke la la la la
(or, i have an unmanageable lot of feelings about too many different things right now so here is all of them at once forever SPOILERS FOR STID AND ELEMENTARY ARE TAGGED [aaaaand now behind a cut which is totes fine for tonight but heads up guys, not everything i put up about stid will be behind a cut, but it will all be tagged ‘stid spoilers’ like this post is, I PROMISE, so the thing to do to avoid them is block that tag like whoa] BUT JUST IN CASE I AM ALSO TELLING YOU ABOUT THEM RIGHT HERE: SPOILERS EXIST IN THIS POST <3)
SPOILERS UNDER CUT OKAY? OKAY
professorwolfjwolf asked: re: jim and uhura as bffs, it's funny because it used to always be pairing off spock and jim and then uhura and bones to bitch about them, but i'm loving jim and uhura as friends and the idea of bones and spock getting together to bitch is just the funniest, like, it makes SO MUCH SENSE, because they'd bitch about jim, and uhura and jim would bitch about spock, and sometimes spock and jim would still bitch about bones, and NO ONE WOULD BITCH ABOUT UHURA EVER
Oh my god I know??? Like, my ideal situation is actually the Damn It Jim Club, so named by Bones because for all of Academy the Damn It Jim Club was a club of one, and that one was Bones, with occasional honorary and unwanted membership for whatever unfortunate bartender happened to be nearby when Bones started ranting about how the stupid goddamn kid never fucking listened. (This never went well for the bartenders, because if they ever agreed with Bones — “Yeah, sure, that kid sounds like a pain in the ass,” — Bones would get defensive on Jim’s behalf and yell at them to shut their traps because they knew nothing. )
Only then they get on the Enterprise and the Damn It Jim Club becomes a club of two, those two being Bones and Scotty, but that’s more because Bones tends to drink with Scotty and then rant at him than because Scotty has a lot of ranting to do about Jim. Scotty is actually, in Bones’s opinion, a pretty terrible member of the Damn It Jim Club, does not carry his weight at all except in the sense of providing booze, because even when Scotty is very angry at Jim he is not really good at insulting him. “Captain Pretty Eyes,” while deeply accurate, is not exactly satisfying in terms of sticking it to the guy, and if Bones hears Scotty say “Captain Perfect Hair” one more time he’s going to snap, snap, okay, because Jim’s hairline is receding, and the sooner he accepts that and the fact that it means he is aging and mortal the sooner he will stop being so insane and reckless and yeah, so maybe the Damn It Jim Club is really still a club of one at this point and Scotty is… is a provisional member or something.
But then one day Spock joins up, like just plops himself down between Bones and Scotty in engineering one night and is like, “I have been reliably informed that this is the agreed-upon meeting place for venting our frustration with the captain. Is drinking required for participation, or may I simply speak?” And Bones is totally expecting it to be a disaster, right, and tries to like, not-so-subtly hint that Spock should roll on out, only then Spock turns around and is HILARIOUSLY SPOT-ON SASSYPANTS BURN CITY on the topic of Jim Kirk in a super-satisfying way that does not even make Bones feel defensive because it’s just so true.
AND SO IT IS THAT THE DAMN IT JIM CLUB BECOMES A CLUB OF THREE, or really a club of two with one provisional member because Spock, too, feels that Scotty is lacking in the preparation of insults front, but they forgive him, since, after all, they are good people, honorable people, not the most irritating people they can imagine like some people with yellow hair and pretty eyes and names that rhyme with “erk.”
(Meanwhile, Jim and Nyota sip Mai Tais and throw darts at a secret Spock-shaped board while casually airing their grievances. Jim occasionally breaks theme and yells about how Bones is driving him UP THE WALL and Nyota rests smug in the knowledge that the only person who might be bitching about her on this ship right now is Chekov, and that is because she got sick of him mooning and moaning and being such a teenager, and as such told Sulu to ask him out already because it was pretty much a sure thing. Honestly, she doubts either one of them is complaining about it, but it’s hard to know, nobody’s heard a peep from them in awhile.)
i have a lot of feelings about a lot of stuff, i think i’m going to need to see it again to really be able to articulate a lot of things (though i am going to try to get an essay about the experience of seeing it up today), but i have seen it! i will be tagging everything about it, including this post, with “stid spoilers” until it’s out everywhere. THERE ARE SPOILERS. IN THIS POST. AVOIDING SPOILERS? STOP READING. THIS IS YOUR WARNING.
so: the very very not coherent version of my very very involved feelings:
Greek Pantheon- Jemma Salume
Hades, Persephone and Cerberus.
Chris Pine, Jake Gyllenhaal Circling 'Into the Woods' -
omg please let this happen!
IF THIS IS TRUE I WILL BURN THE HOUSE DOWN OUT OF EXCITEMENT
MY WHOLE BODY IS CRYING
AGONY! BEYOND THE POWER OF SPEECH