not language but a map

writer, reader, eater of bagels. cracking inappropriate jokes to cut tension since 1989.
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jonesgirl88 asked: Two questions: 1-what kind of soup and was it delicious? 2-Harry Potter: Harmony or Romione?

1. This season’s first batch of Everything But The Kitchen Sink Soup, which is chicken noodle soup that I throw matzo balls and pearl onions and mushrooms and pulled chicken into and which, not to toot my own horn, is EXCEPTIONALLY delicious, and, 

2. Between those two choices, Romione, because they inspire intensity and passion in each other in a way Harry and Hermione just don’t, and also, Ron’s no picnic but Harry is a bottomless pit of PTSD and emotional issues that Hermione would attempt to fix if they were together, and that is no good. However, if I am to speak my heart, then what we’re looking at is a few years of post-war Ron/Hermione until a breakup caused by the sudden and white-hot explosion of Ron/Pansy, leading Hermione to take a few years to focus doggedly on her career and herself while slowly developing and eventually falling into lifelong fulfilling committed Hermione/Luna. (*cough* and Harry/Draco in the background *cough* WHAT WHO SAID THAT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.) 

jizzdrifting asked: as someone putting a LOT of thought into this today: top make up tips to distract from the fact that you were up wayyyyy too late last night? or alternatively: best lipstick brands/colors/types found in your travels?

Regarding staying up too late the night before and/or looking like a raccoon that has recently lost a fight with a hangover (maybe it’s just me that looks that way after a bad night’s sleep, but hey, just in case): a good, lightweight concealer is your best friend. I use NYX’s HD Photogenic Concealer Wand for this, because it’s like $5 and it’s just the right consistency in my opinion, but YMMV. The important part is: apply that shit under your eyes in a downward pointing triangle, and then put whatever is left on the wand ON TOP OF YOUR EYELID as like a primer that’ll conceal puffyness and redness. Blend with your finger, stare at your reflection in awe of how suddenly bright eyed and bushy tailed you look, and then put on your eyeliner a little thicker than you might normally — that’ll help hide the way the conceal will fade out toward the edges of the eye as the day wears on. 

Regarding lipsticks: in my humble opinion there is no lipstick above Mac’s PLUMFUL, which is on my lips as we speak and basically every day of my life because it’s perfect and I’m obsessed with it. But if you don’t feel like shelling out $16 for a lipstick, or if you like me cannot afford to be shelling out $16 for a lipstick but unlike me possess a modicum of self control and actually refrain from purchasing it, Almay does a line of moisturizing lip glosses called Color & Care that are much cheaper, non-sticky, and feel great on the lips, and the color Just Plum Good is a pretty decent dupe for the effect Plumful has. To be clear, it’s not a dupe of the lipstick AT ALL, they’re very different in texture and feel and the Almay needs reapplication pretty regularly, but both are soft, subtle plums that you can layer for a brighter look. 

question time

so, i just ate like, twice as much soup as any person should eat in one sitting and will be essentially useless for the next 45 minutes, SO: let us have a question time, in which you ask me things and i tell you what i think the answers are.

you may, of course, feel free to ask me anything, but for reference, topics on which i can reliably be expected to know what i’m talking about include food, makeup, Bisexual Struggles, feelings, and which characters from an assortment of books, movies and tv shows should probably make out with each other. topics on which i would NOT trust my opinions include any variant on the theme spacial reasoning, directions, or how much soup one person should eat in a sitting — i was just recently very wrong about that. i don’t have anon on because my self-preservation instinct is too strong, but if you want me to answer a question anonymously, lemme know in the ask and i’ll use internet magics (read: copy/paste) to make a post without your name in it.

okay, go!

crimsonvalentines asked: Your tags on the "Sherlock/Decency" Elementary photoset you reblogged reflect my opinion of both this show and Sherlock Holmes in general so perfectly, it literally was word for word what I would have written about that set! On that note, since we apparently view Holmes very similarly, I have curiosities: a) Do you have a favourite all time adaptation of Holmes? and b) What's your opinion of the Robert Downey, Jr. movie? (I swear I go back and forth on it every time I watch!)

I love a truly absurd number of Holmes adaptations, but if I had to pick an all-time favorite, it’d be these two fics by Katie Forsythe: Four Minor Interludes for the Solo Violin and Hallowed Be Thy Name (also available as incredible podfics). There are so many things to say about these stories — they’re so beautifully constructed! So poignant! So faithful to the source material! They’re written to slot perfectly into the ACD canon, to the point that I often forget that they aren’t part of it! But the reason they’re my favorite is because, of every Holmes adaptation I’ve ever encountered (and it’s… a large number…), this Holmes and this Watson ring the most true for me. Watson as she writes him is the perfect balance of patience and exasperation, of pathos and levity; he carries his war with him in real, visible ways, but never loses either his ability to fight or his inclination against doing so; he takes such care with Holmes, with their clients, holds himself to such high standards and tries so hard to do what’s right, even when circumstances are at their most dire; he is so wholly good, complex and wounded and dangerous and gentle but good, above all. And this HOLMES, who is the very epitome of the type of decency we love to see in this character — a survivor in every sense of the world, plagued by all manner of demons, and yet still able to open his heart to the people he loves, and his mind to anyone who might need him. These stories are a triumph, a classic; to be completely honest, I prefer them to the canon. They are that good. 

(Second place: The Great Mouse Detective. Music! Killer robots! A version of Holmes that goes by Basil of Baker Street, presumably for copyright reasons, and IS A MOUSE IN A LONG COAT WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS, presumably for reasons of being delightful! Dogs who help solve crimes! Evil bats! Evil rats! A tiny mouse-girl in a tartan hat! WHAT IS NOT TO LOVE.) 

On the topic of the RDJ films: to be honest I adore them, though they are without question flawed, but you cannot go by me. 2009!Holmes was one of my early fandoms (or, at least, one of my early fandoms under this specific moniker), and once you’ve written a novella turning a specific version of Holmes and Watson into ridiculous American graduate students, I think you’re contractually obligated to love the film they came from. Also — and I mean this from the bottom of my heart — only Jude Law is capable of producing a mustache worthy of John Watson’s face. Jude Law, and Jude Law alone. 





This scene is SO important. Maleficent is with someone she trusts, someone she considers a friend. And then the next thing she knows, she wakes up in pain, bleeding, with her wings burned off. A huge part of her has been destroyed.

Rape is so prominent in our culture that it is in a Disney movie. Maybe not explicitly, but it is very clear what this scene represents and it is so sad.

I fucking cried my eyes out during this scene

AJ even confirmed that this is what this scene was a metaphor for (x) - just because i saw someone say today that this is not what this scene is about

'We were very conscious that it was a metaphor for rape': The actress explained how the scene in which her character has her wings ripped off her body while in a drug-induced sleep had to be something 'so violent and aggressive' that it would make her 'lose all sense of her maternity, her womanhood and her softness' 

when a man violates a woman, he cuts off her wings.

No, no, no, no, no, please imagine some people singing the word no in a four part harmony because: noooooooooooooo.

I understand that this is well intentioned, and I’m not going to comment on the movie itself since I’ve only seen bits and pieces, but I just had to pop up and register the hardest of passes to the sentiment, “When a man violates a woman, he cuts off her wings.” LET’S NOT SAY THAT EVER. When a man violates a woman (or a woman violates a woman, or a man violates a man, or a woman violates a man), it is harmful and indescribably painful, it may even be life-altering, but let’s please, please, please try to avoid saying shit that implies that being sexually assaulted or raped is something that permanently disfigures you, that removes something from you that you can never get back, that prevents you — forever — from flying. You know what that plays into? The idea of the “ruined” woman; the idea that once assaulted or raped you are defined by it for the rest of your life; the idea that a rape or assault is not something you can heal from. Don’t push those concepts — they get into people’s heads and become very difficult to eradicate. They make it an even harder struggle for survivors to believe in the open wide future they’re going to get to eventually (I promise), where what happened to them, though it will always be with them, does not keep them grounded.

On a related note, I said I wasn’t going to comment on the movie itself and I meant it, and this isn’t intended as hate against Angelina Jolie because I adore her and she has done a ton of amazing work in so many arenas including this one, plus I’m fairly certain from the structure that that quote was one about her specific character that was simply chopped up to look like it was a statement about all women, but! Because it is important and needs to be said: anyone who tells you that rape makes women “lose all sense of her maternity, her womanhood and her softness,” is someone who does not know what the hell they are talking about. Can a rape strip a woman of some or all those things, temporarily or permanently? Yes, of course; so could the loss of a partner, or the loss of a child, or any number of other things. Rape is a significant trauma and significant trauma has significant consequences! But those consequences differ from person to person and circumstance to circumstance, and again what we’ve encountered here is the idea of the “ruined” woman, who has been raped and thus robbed forever of [her womanhood/her personhood/her sexuality/her desire for men/her maternal instinct/her tenderness/her what the fuck ever, oh my god]. Stop saying this shit! People believe it and it harms them, and the process of getting through a rape or assault is arduous enough without fighting past the totally false idea that no matter what you do you are ruined and will never truly heal. Thanks.


For a brief stretch in London, I talked only to a phrenology bust I kept in my study. I named him Angus. Wasn’t the same.