carinacakes replied to your photo: in case you’ve ever thought to yourself “i wonder…
wine slushy! HOW COULD THAT GO WRONG
PROBLEM: I TOOK TOO LONG TO REALIZE AND I HAVE AN EARLY THING TOMORROW, WINE SLUSHIE WOULD BE A BAD CHOICE
semi-related, i think i remembered/rescued it like riiiiiiiight as it pulled up to the edge of full-tilt explosion city, population: my freezer. i think this because it creaks ominously whenever i get near it. wine slushie < sparing myself the experience of having a wine bottle explode in my hand while i try to get wine slushie out of it, awesome though i suspect wine slushie would be.
mostly not related, WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE WE PLAYED THIS GAME CALLED WINE SPINS, which i may have blogged about before, i don’t know, it escapes me, the first rule of wine spins is that it’s usually pretty hard to remember anything you’ve ever done involving wine spins. but how this game works is that you take the sack ‘o wine that lives inside of boxed wine boxes and you set it free, you let it live the life it was meant to live, and you hand it to a friend as you, yourself, sit down in a spinning chair. and then that friend holds the bag over your head as you put the spigot in your mouth, twists it to the on position, and runs around the chair with you as another friend spins you in the chair and you drink until you can no longer drink, at which point you slap the bag for “stop” and take your position as one of the helper friends until your turn comes up again. (unless you’re the puker; then you puke. somebody always pukes, that is a truth of the wine spin.)
the takeaway from this story is: don’t drink wine like me, kids. no matter how you slice it, it is not my forte.
can shia labeouf do a guest spot on hannibal
(Source: annalouet, via drinkmasturbatecry)
that awkward moment when youtube freezes
on a perfect summary of absolutely everything
You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing
(Source: glial, via irrelevantkhaleesi)
marthur replied to your post: thedoctorscrotch replied to your post: confusing…
did he have pockets or a bag which could potentially contain an abnormally large orange (or ordinary-sized grapefruit)
NO BAG. NO COAT WITH LARGE POCKETS. JEANS AND A T-SHIRT, AND I OBSERVED NO LARGE ORANGE/ORDINARY GRAPEFRUIT SIZED BULGES ANYWHERE ON HIS PERSON. CHEEKS WERE NOT STUFFED CHIPMUNK-STYLE. HE WAS NOT WEARING A CROWN OF ORANGE SLICES ON HIS HEAD. NOTHING.
i feel like i’m on the inside of a riddle and i don’t like it, i don’t like it at all
thedoctorscrotch replied to your post: confusing story of the day:
Maybe he flushed it down the toilet
this occurred to me but then the following thought occurred to me: wHY?? like even if this is the solution to the mystery it’s still a mystery because why would you flush a perfectly good orange (possibly grapefruit) down the toilet at starbucks?? there are so many excellent things to do with oranges (possibly grapefruits) like: eat them, or: give them to other people to eat, or: play catch with them, or: throw them in the available garbage can even though that would be wasteful because that would be less likely to cause a plumbing issue than FLUSHING THEM DOWN THE TOILET
but this is my problem with The Case Of The Vanishing Orange: every answer i can think of only leaves me with more questions
okay so i was waiting in line for the bathroom at starbucks???? and there was this dude in front of me tossing and catching an orange in his hands, and it was a big-ass orange, okay, like, bordering on having been a grapefruit is the size orange we’re talking, maybe it was a grapefruit, i don’t know. but i’m standing there! and he goes into the bathroom! and it’s a single bathroom, right, like there’s no stalls, there’s just a toilet and a sink, and he’s in there for the normal amount of time! the standard amount of bathroom using time!
and then he comes out without the giant orange????
i really like. i don’t understand. there were orange peels in the garbage but not enough to have covered the whole orange and like. what was he doing with it???? if he was eating it, then a) why was he eating an orange in the bathroom and b) HOW DID HE EAT IT SO FAST SERIOUSLY HE WAS ONLY IN THERE FOR LIKE A MINUTE THAT WAS NOT A SMALL ENOUGH ORANGE TO BE CONSUMED IN THAT AMOUNT OF TIME. and if he wasn’t eating then what did he do with it????? i don’t????? i’m so??????
i mean obviously it is everyone’s own business what they do in the bathroom and i do not judge, if he was eating the orange at superhuman speeds in there then good for him, if he was doing Something Else with the orange in there then i hope it offered up everything he was hoping for but i am so curious????? and confused???? and curious???? WHERE DID THE ORANGE GO.
current location: will hoge show
dudes whose music is worth checking out: THIS GUY