if anyone asks, this is tyler hoechlin’s fault:
Nat: HOW DO YOU SURVIVE, DEREK
Nat: WHERE DO YOU LIVE
Nat: WHERE DOES YOUR MONEY COME FROM
Nat: WHO CUTS YOUR HAIR BECAUSE IT ISN’T YOU
gyzym: I SAW AN INTERVIEW WITH HOECH WHERE HE WAS LIKE
gyzym: NO LOOK DEREK’S HOUSE WAS BURNED DOWN AND HIS WHOLE FAMILY WAS KILLED—BETWEEN HOUSE AND LIFE INSURANCE, HE MUST HAVE CASH. HE DRIVES A NICE CAR! I THINK HE’S JUST BEING SMART AND INVESTING
gyzym: AND NOW I WANT THE FIC WHERE DEREK IS SECRETLY LIKE, A BAJILLIONARE
gyzym: AND STILES FINDS OUT AND IS LIKE
gyzym: *WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LIVE IN A TRAIN*
gyzym: AND DEREK IS LIKE, DON’T INTERFERE WITH MY STOCK FUTURES STILES
gyzym: I MEAN BECAUSE THAT’S BLOOD MONEY
gyzym: THAT’S WHAT I MEANT
Nat: AHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
gyzym: NOT AT ALL ANYTHING ABOUT—STILES PUT THE COMPUTER DOWN!!!
Nat: OH MAN
Nat: TYLER HOECHLIN, LET ME LOVE YOU
Nat: INVESTING OH MY GOD
gyzym: I KNOW
gyzym: I KNOW
gyzym: HOECH IS A GIFT
gyzym: THE CAST IS A GIFT
gyzym: EVERYTHING IS A GIFT
Nat: DEREK HAS NOT ONE IOTA OF FORWARD PLANNING IN HIS ENTIRE BUFF BODY
gyzym: OH MY GOD ACTUALLY MAYBE
Nat: THIS SHOW IS A GIFT
gyzym: MAYBE LAURA INVESTED ALL THE MONEY
gyzym: AND NOW DEREK
gyzym: JUST LIKE
gyzym: DOESN’T KNOW!!
gyzym: HOW TO ACCESS IT!!
gyzym: LIKE MAYBE HE WAS ON THE DOLE WITH LAURA CONTROLLING THE CASH
gyzym: BECAUSE LAURA WAS LIKE, YOU WILL JUST SPEND IT ON CARS AND LEATHER JACKETS DEREK
gyzym: YOUR CONCEPT OF FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT IS NOT SOUND
gyzym: AND HE FINALLY ADMITS THIS TO STILES
gyzym: AND STILES TAKES OVER
gyzym: BEING DEREK’S FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT
Nat: BECAUSE STILES IS THE SHOW’S GREAT UNDERAPPRECIATED GENIUS
gyzym: YES
gyzym: AND BECAUSE DEREK DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO PAY BILLS
gyzym: LIKE EVEN BASIC BILLS
Nat: HOW DOES DIRECT DEBIT WORK
Nat: WHAT IS THE PHONE COMPANY
gyzym: WHAT DO YOU MEAN INTEREST
Nat: WHY IS THE WATER OFF
gyzym: I DON’T NEED ELECTRICITY I’M A WEREWOLF!!!!!!!
Nat: WHO NEEDS A GYM MEMBERSHIP WHEN YOU HAVE A BURNED OUT HOUSE WITH EXPOSED STRUCTURAL BEAMS
gyzym: I CAN’T GIVE THEM MY MAILING ADDRESS THEY WILL FIND ME!!!
gyzym: AND STILES IS LIKE
gyzym: YOU CAN’T GIVE THEM YOUR MAILING ADDRESS
gyzym: BECAUSE IT’S
gyzym: “DARK CREEPY HOLE, POSSIBLY HEAVILY BURNT DEPENDING ON THE WEEK,” DEREK
Nat: ‘SOMEWHERE IN THE WOODS’
Nat: HERE ARE THE COORDINATES
Nat: WATCH OUT FOR SNARES
gyzym: SJHFKSFHDSKJF
Nat: ‘DEREK HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MAILMAN’
gyzym: OH MY GOD YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE
gyzym: HILARIOUS
gyzym: THOUGH
gyzym: IS THE FIC WHERE STILES AND DEREK BOTH GROW UP A LITTLE AND END UP TOGETHER AND GET AN ACTUAL HOUSE AND THEN STILES STARTS TO NOTICE
gyzym: THAT WHENEVER THE MAILMAN COMES
gyzym: DEREK GETS ALL TENSE
Nat: AHAHAHA
gyzym: AND THAT WHEN CARS DRIVE BY AT NIGHT
gyzym: HE WAKES UP
gyzym: AND THAT HE’S HOSTING A CAMPAIGN OF TERROR
gyzym: AGAINST THE NEIGHBORHOOD WOODLAND CREATURES
Nat: AND WHEN NEW DOGS MOVE INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD HE GLARES AT THEM
gyzym: YES!!!!
gyzym: AND EVENTUALLY STILES IS LIKE
gyzym: ….OH MY GOD YOUR CANINE SIDE
gyzym: IS A REAL THING, ISNT IT
gyzym: DOES THIS MEAN I CAN PUT YOUR HEAD IN ONE OF THOSE CONES
Nat: DON’T LICK THAT YOU’LL MAKE IT WORSE
