INCONCEIVABLE!!

gyzym: no discussion of coughing though, this pairing wants me to give into my urge to write that particular brand of h/c so much and I AM RESISTING I WILL NOT BE THAT PREDICTABLE. AGAIN.
amazonziti: ahahahaha I AIM TO IMPROVE YOU LIFE EXPERIENCES ALWAYS
amazonziti: lolllllllllllllllllllllllllll
amazonziti: tbh
amazonziti: i would LOVE a fic where derek gets the flu
amazonziti: he would be the ANGRIEST sick dude
gyzym: oh my god do not encourage me. do not encourage me. you’ve seriously got no idea
gyzym: HE WOULD BE SO ANGRY
gyzym: AND SO UNWILLING TO ADMIT ANYTHING WAS WRONG
gyzym: AND HE AND STILES WOULD FIGHT ABOUT IT FOR LIKE
gyzym: TWO DAYS
amazonziti: I AM A WEREWOLF, WE DON’T GET SICK, THIS IS INCONCEIVABLE
amazonziti: I DO NOT THINK THAT WORD MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS DEREK
gyzym: HFKDFHSDKJF STILES STARTS LIKE
gyzym: CASUALLY SLIPPING EMERGEN-C INTO DEREK’S DRINKS
amazonziti: STILES WHY IS MY WATER PINK
amazonziti: NO REASON DEREK SSSSSH JUST DRINK THE KOOL-AID
gyzym: fdsjfhsd oh my god no he’d be like
gyzym: WOW IT’S NOT PINK AT ALL
gyzym: PROBABLY YOU THINK IT IS
amazonziti: IS YOUR VISION GOING, DEREK?
gyzym: FSDJHFKDJS ANYTHING TO CONVINCE HIM TO JUST
gyzym: STOP
amazonziti: LET ME TAKE YOUR TEMPERATURE
gyzym: FSJDHFJDSFHSJF
amazonziti: DON’T GIVE ME THAT ‘WEREWOLVES RUN HOTTER’ BS
amazonziti: YOU RUN THREE DEGREES HOTTER, NOT SIX
amazonziti: I DID RESEARCH
gyzym: that awkward moment when even chris argent is like
gyzym: go home derek
gyzym: it’s not even fun
amazonziti: don’t make me carry you home derek
amazonziti: i don’t like you enough to carry you home
gyzym: stiles is like I COULD DO IT and everyone just
gyzym: looks
gyzym: at him
gyzym: except derek who decided to stop looking at him three hours ago
gyzym: when it became very clear that stiles could speak volumes
gyzym: about how derek was being a stubborn jackass
gyzym: with only his face
amazonziti: stiles has a very eloquent face
amazonziti: boyd is like no stiles, you couldn’t carry him home
amazonziti: but I CAN, let’s go you idiot
gyzym: oh my god, now i’ve just got this image in my head
gyzym: of boyd carrying derek
gyzym: and stiles
gyzym: hovering by derek’s head
gyzym: because he remembers, okay
gyzym: all the times his mother told him
amazonziti: omg just like trotting along beside them
gyzym: about how she worried scott had been hit in the head as a small child
gyzym: and DEREK LOOKS LIKE HE’S GOING TO DIE
gyzym: AND STILES IS NOT TAKING ANY RISKS OKAY
amazonziti: omg
amazonziti: MAMA STILINKSI whoops feelings
gyzym: MAMA STILINSKIIIIII
gyzym: but yeah no he’s totally trotting
gyzym: and boyd is like
gyzym: stiles
gyzym: i’ve really
gyzym: got this
gyzym: like really
gyzym: personal space, man
amazonziti: stiles is like but do you have nyquil at the abandoned train station
amazonziti: do you have emergen-c or gatorade
amazonziti: DO YOU HAVE CHICKEN SOUP BOYD
amazonziti: DO YOU
gyzym: and boyd is like, YEAH, STILES, REMEMBER HOW YOU’VE BEEN
gyzym: COMING BY
gyzym: DROPPING THINGS OFF
gyzym: TRYING TO BE SMOOTH ABOUT IT
gyzym: FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS
amazonziti: BUT DO YOU HAVE FUZZY BLANKETS
amazonziti: NO I DON’T THINK YOU DO
amazonziti: NEGLECT!!!!!!!
gyzym: and then derek is like PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I HAVE A HEADACHE and they both shut up kind of guiltily
gyzym: and then start
gyzym: hissing at each other
gyzym: a second later jfsdkfhsd
amazonziti: omg bless
amazonziti: also a+ moment for boyd+derek platonic cuddles
amazonziti: boyd is just really big and really solid okay
gyzym: dude a+ moment for all three of them to cuddle
amazonziti: derek isn’t even afraid boyd will drop him accidentally
gyzym: because stiles has to go get something, right
gyzym: and he comes back and derek’s curled up against boyd in the train station
gyzym: because yeah okay maybe
gyzym: there should be more
gyzym: fuzzy blankets
gyzym: and stiles just kind of cocks his head
gyzym: and shrugs
amazonziti: FUZZY BLANKETS ARE IMPORTANT
gyzym: and sits down on derek’s other side
gyzym: WITH THE BLANKETS
amazonziti: OKAY thank you
gyzym: THAT’S WHAT HE WENT TO GET
amazonziti: GOOD FINE
gyzym: and boyd kind of raises an eyebrow at him like, aren’t you going to get mad about me cuddling your boyfriend i dare you
amazonziti:  :DDDDDDDDDDD
gyzym: and stiles kind of raises one back like, aren’t YOU going to tell me not to tell
your girlfriend about you cuddling with my boyfriend i dare YOU
gyzym: but derek’s asleep
gyzym: and they’re both….pretty relieved about that tbh
gyzym: because he’s been kind of unlivable and scary
amazonziti: he’s been keeping himself awake to prove he can
gyzym: yes yes yes yes
amazonziti: he can patrol! and do research! and stalk people! and take care of EVERYTHING ALONE while suffering from death flu!!!!!
gyzym: THAT HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE, *STILES*
gyzym: WEREWOLVES DON’T GET SICK!!
amazonziti: INCONCEIVABLE!!!!
gyzym: fhdsjkfdsf once he’s like
gyzym: agreed
gyzym: to just let people
gyzym: help him out
gyzym: for a couple of days
gyzym: stiles makes him watch the princess bride
gyzym: from a blanket covered couch
gyzym: and pretends not to see how hard derek glares
gyzym: when that moment happens upon the screen
amazonziti: he’s got lots of practice, lbr
gyzym: SO MUCH
gyzym: oh my god
amazonziti: i am quite certain that stiles learned how to take care of sick people from his dad
gyzym: His dad and SCOTT’S MOM
amazonziti: i bet papa stilinski is the WORST when stiles gets sick
gyzym: i bet
amazonziti: omg
gyzym: that it’s almost always scott’s mom
gyzym: who takes care of stiles when he’s sick now
amazonziti: when stiles and scott were bbs they were probably always sick at the same time
gyzym: YES THEY GOT CHICKEN POX TOGETHER
amazonziti: so their parents took turns taking days off work to take care of them
amazonziti: omg conspiring to scratch each other’s backs lol
gyzym: stiles’ great oven mitt escape strategy of 2001
amazonziti: can you IMAGINE tiny bb stiles with chicken pox omg
amazonziti: ahahahaha
gyzym: but like, now, they never talk about it, but if scott tells his mom stiles is sick
gyzym: she’ll use the key the sheriff made her years ago to like, pop in and check on him on her way to and from work
gyzym: because SOMEONE has to, given the number of times she’s found him like, asleep on top of a box of wheaties
gyzym: and backwards on the couch
amazonziti: i bet the first time stiles got sick after scott became a werewolf, scott waited all confused to get sick himself
amazonziti: but going to school without stiles was SO STUPID AND BORING
gyzym: oh my god yesssssss
amazonziti: so he did a ridiculously bad job of faking sick
amazonziti: because come on, scott is not exactly the best liar
amazonziti: and mama mccall was like FINE I’LL CALL THE SCHOOL GO KEEP STILES COMPANY
gyzym: fjdskhfdjskfhsjkdfhsdkjfdsjkf goddddd, yes
gyzym: and i bet the first time stiles gets sick after he and derek like, get their shit together, derek hovers around frowning for like HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS and refuses to sit down or stop frowning until eventually stiles kind of sighs
gyzym: and is like
gyzym: i’m not going to die, derek
gyzym: stop freaking out
amazonziti: ahahahaha
amazonziti: THIS IS NOT TERMINAL, I PROMISE
gyzym: and derek is like
gyzym: I’M NOT EVEN WORRIED
gyzym: I DON’T EVEN CARE
gyzym: OBVIOUSLY
gyzym: AT ALL
amazonziti: derek = least functional ever
amazonziti: stiles is like oh shut up and come take my headache away you big baby
gyzym: i don’t care if you care or not, derek, just sit down so i don’t have to keep looking up at you at least
amazonziti: stop pacing, you’re making me dizzy
amazonziti: i WILL barf on you, don’t think i won’t
gyzym: fsfhksjdf and derek almost sits down on the FLOOR
gyzym: before he corrects
gyzym: and perches on the end of the couch
gyzym: and stiles just
gyzym: makes a face at him
gyzym: and is like, why are you the worst
gyzym: at everything
gyzym: all the time
gyzym: but he doesn’t really mean it, which is why mama mccall pops in to check on stiles hours later
gyzym: to find him asleep
gyzym: on top of a werewolf
gyzym: which is actually worse than the wheaties
amazonziti: ahaha
amazonziti: also all the scott/sick!stiles cuddling
amazonziti: all the scott+stiles cuddling anytime ever tbh
gyzym: oh my god, all the scott/stiles cuddling IN GENERAL, I WAS ABOUT TO SAY
gyzym: for real, scott/stiles cuddling-wise, my biggest headcanon is that they do these scary movie marathons that end with scott wedged between stiles and the couch
gyzym: EVEN NOW THAT HE IS A WEREWOLF
amazonziti: omg
gyzym: while stiles says soothing things
amazonziti: PERF
gyzym: about how terrible the effects are
gyzym: and how many plot holes there are
amazonziti: omg
amazonziti: stiles is me during snakes on a plane
amazonziti: i was like, what kind of plane
amazonziti: has FRESH OLIVE OIL
amazonziti: but no metal utensils?!!!!!!
amazonziti: FICTION
gyzym: YES EXACTLY
gyzym: they watch all the screams with the pack one night
gyzym: and everyone is kind of like
gyzym: *eyebrow*
gyzym: when, halfway through the first one
gyzym: scott’s head is in stiles’ lap
gyzym: and stiles is petting his hair
gyzym: while yelling REALLY? THESE STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN BETTER???
gyzym: I THOUGHT I WAS IMAGINING IT
gyzym: FOLLOW YOUR OWN RULES, YOU ASSHOLES
gyzym: at the screen
amazonziti: I LOVE IT
amazonziti: omg
amazonziti: stiles wants to watch american horror story
amazonziti: but scott CAN’T
amazonziti: like a man has to draw the line somewhere, and this is it
gyzym: sdfhsdjfhdskfdsf
amazonziti: so american horror story is stiles-and-boyd night instead
gyzym: oh my god yes
gyzym: because stiles and derek can
gyzym: not
gyzym: watch
gyzym: horror movies together
gyzym: because INEVITABLY they fight
gyzym: because they can’t both be the person making pithy comments at the screen
gyzym: because derek feels like it’s his RIGHT
gyzym: as a supernatural being
amazonziti: omg
amazonziti: horror movies bring out derek’s sass
amazonziti: is that what you are telling me
gyzym: oh yeah
gyzym: ohhhhh yeah
gyzym: derek
gyzym: watches
gyzym: ALL KINDS
gyzym: of horror movies too
gyzym: they make him feel better about his life
gyzym: because they are invariably so terrible
gyzym: and so wrong
gyzym: and at least, derek thinks
gyzym: as bad as his life might be
gyzym: at least he isn’t the moron who greenlit THIS piece of shit.