an(other) unexpected journey:

leupagus: Someone posted on one of the kinkmemes with the idea of Gandalf figuring out what the fuck bilbo’s ring was about wa-hey earlier
leupagus: and like instead of going to erebor, the whole company is like FUCK IT LET’S GO TO MOUNT DOOM
leupagus: which like
leupagus: omg
leupagus: want
gyzym: omg THAT WOULD BE AMAZING
leupagus: SO AMAZING AND SO TERRIBLE
leupagus: and so so good for me
gyzym: i feel like though that if i tried to write that fic what would end up coming out would be the story of how the fellowship of the ring happens anyway 60 years later but for different reasons
gyzym: like, by accident
leupagus: I think eeeverybody would be okay with that, bro
gyzym: I CAN’T RESIST THE “SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO SPEND PARTS OF THEIR LIVES TOGETHER OKAY GOD” TROPE
leupagus: WELL I MEAN
leupagus: YEAH
leupagus: CLEARLY
gyzym: the fellowship of somebody find the king of gondor already goddamn don’t you know this steward is CRAY
leupagus: THERE IT IS
leupagus: b/c isn’t the whole thing about the rangers
leupagus: is that they’ve been like hiding aragorn or some shit
gyzym: I THINK SO??
leupagus: like only call him up in direst need!
leupagus: and there’s no direness rn
leupagus: so the rangers are like HEIR OF ISILDUN WHAT HEIR IDK WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT
gyzym: also it really pleases me to think of aragorn like, joining the hunt-for-the-king-of-gondor brigade in the hope that he’ll find a convincing imposter
gyzym: THAT DUDE, cries aragorn, WITH THE HAT, KING OF GONDOR, YEP HIM LET’S GO
leupagus: O
leupagus: M
leupagus: G
leupagus: OH MY GOD
leupagus: GYZ
leupagus: YES
leupagus: THIS HAS TO - YOU HAVE TO WRITE THIS NOW
leupagus: I WILL WRITE THE WHOLE DWARVES FUCK OFF TO MT DOOM
leupagus: IF YOU WRITE ME THIS
leupagus: OH MY GOOOOOOOD SEKRIT KING ARAGORN
gyzym: hfdjsfhkjdsf it would just be like
gyzym: the fellowship
gyzym: slowly
gyzym: figuring it out
gyzym: one by one
gyzym: until eventually
gyzym: legolas, the last one to put it together
gyzym: is like
gyzym: ARAGORN’S THE KING OF GONDOR!!!!!!
gyzym: and everyone else is like
gyzym: yeah legolas, we know
gyzym: gandalf beating his head slowly and methodically against the nearest piece of stone
gyzym: frodo and sam making flirty eyes at each other
gyzym: merry and pippin being like WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS VACATION IS ABOUT
gyzym: gimli mostly being involved because gloin figures everyone should have some adventure in the lives
gyzym: even though gimli was like IT’S PEACETIME I WANNA MARRY A DWARF LADY AND HAVE DWARF BABIES
gyzym: boromir COMPLAINING FOR LIKE HALF THE TRIP THAT GONDOR NEEDS NO KING OKAY GOD
gyzym: and legolas who’s only there because it was that or spend another thousand years with thrandy
leupagus: YES TO ALL OF THIS
leupagus: you’re making me sad that this fic isn’t already in my face
gyzym: here i’ll put this on the internet
gyzym: and then you’ll be able to hold me to it and everything
leupagus: ahahaha
leupagus: YOU’RE A GOOD MAN CHARLIE BROWN
leupagus: because serious bederious, I’d love to write the first part
leupagus: especially since bilbo would start getting - well he’d get ring sickness or whatever, but thorin would probably be the first to notice
leupagus: since it’s like what his grandpa got
leupagus: and I bet he’d be like, staying as far from the ring as possible
leupagus: because he’s like aragorn in a lot of ways, he knows the weakness in his own blood
gyzym: oh my god yes yes yes YES
leupagus: but like everyone agreeing
leupagus: that bilbo’s the only one who can carry it
leupagus: because all the rest of the company know themselves at least that well
leupagus: and gandalf’s like THIS IS THE DUMBEST IDEA BUT WEVS
gyzym: but like—it’d be really interesting to see how that journey would go with sauron less like, awake
leupagus: exactly
gyzym: /no sauroman
gyzym: or at least him standing in the corner yelling THIS ISN’T HAPPENING GANDALF
gyzym: rather than being actively evil
leupagus: well and orcs being fewer - like, it seems like it’d be fairly easy?
leupagus: so I’d have to figure out some way for it to go tragiclaly wrong
leupagus: because hello, company of failboats
gyzym: i bet the ring’s fuckery would RAMP THE FUCK UP, tbh
gyzym: like the closer it got to mordor
leupagus: oooooh yeah!
gyzym: shit, maybe it’d be like that game don’t wake daddy
gyzym: but with
gyzym: dwarves and middle earth
leupagus: well and as we saw in the movie, the nazgul are awake
gyzym: yeahhhhhhh
gyzym: oh my god, the necromancer as like
gyzym: basically sauroman
gyzym: ….dude what are the chances you could shift all the hobbit villains, actually
gyzym: like, dragons are too self-interested to work for sauron, right?
leupagus: well that’s what gandalf is worried about in the white council?
leupagus: but IDK
gyzym: HOW FAB WOULD IT BE
gyzym: IF THEY GOT ALL THE WAY TO LIKE
gyzym: THE OUTSKIRTS OF MORDOR
gyzym: HAVING ABANDONED THE DRAGON QUEST
gyzym: ONLY TO HAVE SMAUG SHOW THE FUCK UP ANYWAY
leupagus: AHAHAHA
gyzym: THORIN WOULD FLIP HIS SHIT
leupagus: he so would
leupagus: and they have to hide in shelob’s lair or something
leupagus: and they’re like SERIOUSLY
leupagus: WORST ADVENTURE EVER
gyzym: fhjdsfhdsk oh my god THOUGH HONESTLY
gyzym: I BET IF YOU GAVE LITTLE ORI
gyzym: A FEW HOURS WITH SPIDERWEB
gyzym: HE’D FIGURE OUT HOW TO CROCHET WITH IT
leupagus: PROBABLY