not language but a map

writer, reader, eater of bagels. cracking inappropriate jokes to cut tension since 1989.
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vacation update:

cacti walked into: zero!!!!! 

turtle earrings purchased: two

delicious meals eaten: MANY

vodka consumed: lots 

books read: 4.5

sunburns: everywhere

googles of what the plural of “cactus” is: one 

chances i will now run into a cactus as a direct result of bragging about not having run into a cactus yet: high