not language but a map

writer, reader, eater of bagels. cracking inappropriate jokes to cut tension since 1989.
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HERE’S MY PITCH: next season on teen wolf, everything revolves around coach finstock trying to direct a play. something shakespeare. probably macbeth. stiles makes them call it the scottish play because THE CURSE, GUYS, HAVEN’T YOU HEARD ABOUT THE CURSE, DO YOU PAY ANY ATTENTION??? TO OUR LIVES??? BODIES ARE JUST GONNA START FALLING FROM THE RAFTERS AROUND HERE, FUCKING HELL, YOU ALL HAVE TO START READING THE EMAILS I SEND YOU, *GREENBERG IF YOU SAY IT AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD.*

scott’s macbeth and lydia (obviously) is lady m, and kira and stiles are working stage crew together and danny’s probably running the light board, and they all keep like, leaving rehearsal early to go skulking around and keeping late nights and popping up at derek’s loft all TELL US WHAT’S COMING TO KILL US and shit. only then every episode it pretty much comes to nothing, like, the enemy must be really, really sneaky, or really invested in coach yelling at them for skipping out during a tech week night (OR BOTH)

and then, obviously, it turns out that the enemy is not really sneaky, the enemy in fact does not exist, and the gang’s just paranoid and riddled with issues after the last three seasons of unfathomable nonsense, so it turns out that we just watched an entire season of a show where coach finstock yelled about macbeth and nothing horrible happened to anyone. derek hale sits in the audience of the first night’s showing, with melissa mccall and sheriff stilinski and chris argent, and they all share some overpriced theater booster candy, and nobody sets anything on fire, murders anyone, turns anyone into a werewolf, or dies.