today is the day. today is the day true blood returns to me. TODAY IS THE DAY TRUE BLOOD COMES BACK.
i am not sure if i’m going to be able to watch it tonight, for reasons of life, etc. however! if i do not watch it tonight, i will watch it tomorrow, and that means i am out of time to delay this. there are many of you who were not following me the last time there was new true blood (HI, EVERYBODY WHO HAS SHOWED UP IN THE LAST YEAR, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE MADNESS YOU HAVE WEATHERED AND THE MADNESS YOU WILL SHORTLY BE FACING), so i must now make this very clear:
THERE IS NO SHOW CURRENTLY ON TELEVISION, NO SHOW THAT HAS EVER BEEN ON TELEVISION, AND NO SHOW THAT WILL EVER BE ON TELEVISION THAT I AM AS IRRATIONAL ABOUT AS TRUE BLOOD.
no, really. my feeling about this show are largely as follows: ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC *SHRIEKING ONLY DOGS CAN HEAR* ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC *ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR* ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC *VITAL ORGANS HEMORRHAGING SQUEE* ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC. when those are not my feelings, it is because my feelings are DIE BILL DIE I HOPE YOU DIE I NEED YOU TO DIE ALL I HAVE EVER WANTED IS FOR YOU TO DIE, ERIC CAN STAB YOU SOOKIE CAN STAB YOU TARA CAN STAB YOU I CAN STAB YOU SOMEBODY STAB BILL ALREADY.
so. um. i am sorry in advance for sundays/mondays for the rest of the summer. they tend to be….frothy. my opinions tend to be…frothier. I’M SORRY, THERE’S NO HELPING IT. should you wish to avoid this, i strongly suggest you take this opportunity to block the tag “eric northman for god king of louisiana.”
oh dearie me an excuse to whip out every last one of my true blood tags MY MY WHAT SHALL I DO I SUPPOSE I SHALL HAVE TO WHIP OUT EVERY LAST ONE OF MY TRUE BLOOD TAGS
that’s it
i am moving to sweden
they have produced the family skarsgard
and
sandwich cake
and also it is beautiful
SWEDISH FOLLOWERS, I SALUTE YOU, YOUR PLACE OF RESIDENCE IS EXCELLENT AND I WOULD LIKE TO GO TO THERE
THE GUY
WHO PLAYS ERIK
IN THOR
IS STELLAN SKARSGARD
WHO IS THE FATHER OF
ALEXANDER SKARSGARD
WHO PLAYS
ERICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
and then i wrote true blood mockery fanfic at the not my fandom fest! i really could not help myself, i apologize. but! everyone should go check out both this round and the previous round of the not my fandom fest, as they are, seriously, HILARIOUS.
"Every single day, I wake up and look in the mirror and think, Five times, motherfucker, five times."
—
Alexander Skarsgård on being voted Sexiest Man in Sweden five years running (via pretendings)
(Source: askarsswedishmeatballs, via shewhosnarks)
LOVEABLE, ISN’T HE
LOVEABLE, ISN’T HE
LOVEABLE, ISN’T HE
ERIC NORTHMAN YOU ARE MY GREATEST LOVE AND MY GREATEST HERO AND MY GREATEST GPOY DFDSFJDSHFKJDSFHSJKFHDJKSFHJSDKF
YOU BIG HOT VIKING KING OF MY SOUL I AM SO SORRY THAT THE STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS WHO WRITE THIS SHOW SEE IT FIT TO CONTINUE PLAYING UP THE RIDICULOUS BILL/SOOKIE NONSENSE THAT IS RIDICULOUS BECAUSE SERIOUSLY HOW COULD ANYONE—YOU—DHFDJSKFHJDKSFHSD YOUR MEMORY CAME BACK AND YOU ARE STILL STRONG ENOUGH TO ADMIT THAT YOU LOVE HER WITHOUT ANY HESITATION EVEN AFTER SHE’S HIT YOU WITH A BIG HEAVY BRICK OF CRAZYPANTS UNFOUNDED BILL COMPTON FAIL AND THANK GOD BECAUSE SERIOUSLY AS MUCH AS I LOVED YOU WHEN YOU WERE ALL VULNERABLE? I MISSED YOUR SNARK I MISSED IT HARD AND YOUR LOVE OF PAAAAAAAAM AND I JUST PLEASE EVERYTHING TAKE EVERYTHING ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC.
Bill Compton you are not a vampire. You are a cockblockpire, that is all you do, that is all you are, and seriously what the fuck is so difficult for you to understand about the fact that you do not own Sookie’s person and her choices are her own you patronizing sniveling whiny unprofessional horrifying fuck I want you to die I want you to die I want you to dieeeeeeeeee
SOOKIE IT’S ERIC IT’S ALWAYS BEEN ERIC SERIOUSLY OPEN YOUR EYES AND YOU WILL SEE THAT BILL COMPTON IS A TOOL HE’S SUCH A TOOL YOU CAN SEE HIS TOOLISHNESS FROM OUTER SPACE SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW THE DOCTOR IS FLYING BY IN HIS TARDIS GOING “WOW WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT THERE’S A GIANT TOOL DOWN THERE ON EARTH”
Sam please go away I am sick of you
Crazy Debbie you so crazy
ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC ERIC.
