leupagus: Someone posted on one of the kinkmemes with the idea of Gandalf figuring out what the fuck bilbo’s ring was about wa-hey earlier
leupagus: and like instead of going to erebor, the whole company is like FUCK IT LET’S GO TO MOUNT DOOM
leupagus: which like
leupagus: omg
leupagus: want
gyzym: omg THAT WOULD BE AMAZING
leupagus: SO AMAZING AND SO TERRIBLE
leupagus: and so so good for me
gyzym: i feel like though that if i tried to write that fic what would end up coming out would be the story of how the fellowship of the ring happens anyway 60 years later but for different reasons
gyzym: like, by accident
leupagus: I think eeeverybody would be okay with that, bro
gyzym: I CAN’T RESIST THE “SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST MEANT TO SPEND PARTS OF THEIR LIVES TOGETHER OKAY GOD” TROPE
leupagus: WELL I MEAN
leupagus: YEAH
leupagus: CLEARLY
gyzym: the fellowship of somebody find the king of gondor already goddamn don’t you know this steward is CRAY
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leupagus:
Gyzym: gus. this story is 20k now.
right now, it is 20k.
Leupagus: oh my god what
hOW
Gyzym: I DON’T
KNOW
Leupagus: WHAT HAS BECOME OF US
this is what happens when we have feelings Gyz
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE
THIS IS WHY FEELINGS ARE BAD
Gyzym: omg gus they only just walked into thrandy’s court HOW CAN IT ALREADY BE 20K
Leupagus: BECAUSE WE MAKE BAD CHOICES ABOUT OUR LIVES IS HOW
ugh oh my god
Club can’t even handle us now
I don’t even know what to say. No, wait, I do:
pru: i’m really scared
of why you were asking for [random dwarf information]
on tumblr
leupagus: dude
you’re not following me on tumblr anymore
DON’T READ MY TUMBLR
IT’S NOT GOING TO BE GOOD FOR YOU
pru: i check in occasionally!
leupagus: make better choices than I have
you are unready for this jelly
Except substitute “pru” for “everyone who reads this.”
i immediately regret every decision i have ever made that has led me to this place, WHAT ARE WE DOING, WHY
WE MUST PROVE HER WRONG. FOR SCIENCE. THUS, PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU ARE NOW OR HAVE EVER BEEN OF THE IMPRESSION THAT MY ICON IS TURTLES
(for those of you who currently think my icon is turtles: it is not turtles, it is sunglasses, I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT THIS COMES A SHOCK, here is a fable about the turtles that aren’t in my icon to ease your transition into the knowledge that my icon is in fact a pair of aviator sunglasses)
The Rules:
1. Never act incautiously when confronted by a little bald wrinkly smiling man. (That’s always rule one.)
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, then make 11 new ones.
3. Tag 11 people and link them to your post. IGNORE RULE THREE
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them. Inform the readers of the post you have made that they may feel free to consider themselves tagged, or not tagged, as they will. You are as tagged as you wish to be, readers. Only you can determine your own taggedness.
I was tagged by leupagus, who is great and terrible, not necessarily in that order.
1. You have the greenlight from a movie studio to make a movie out of one story (that’s never had an adaptation before). What do you pick?
If we’re talking “story” in the sense of “book/books,” I think it’s a toss up between Tamora Pierce’s Tortall books and Daniel Handler’s The Basic Eight (with The Basic Eight probably winning, because honestly that’s a tale that begs to be told on screen). If it’s a question of a story from actual human history, though spoiled for choice, I honestly think I’d want to do a Lizzie Borden movie. The place in my heart that finds nothing more interesting than twisted murder narratives, let me show it to you. Oooh, or a Zora Neale Hurston movie, because she lived the Harlem Renaissance while she was writing Their Eyes Were Watching God, so you could theoretically structure a film about her life around a sort of split narrative? Like, on the one side you could have (accurately depicted) 20s/30s Harlem, with queer people and speakeasies and like, full period-piece immersion, and then on the other hand you could have this more traditional writer-narrative structured around this amazing book she’s putting together and publishing that she wouldn’t live to see get the reception it deserved??? Not to mention that there was backlash against that book WITHIN HER OWN MOVEMENT because of the politics within it and just like, look, GO READ ABOUT ZORA NEALE HURSTON’S LIFE OKAY, even the Wikipedia article is so interesting, a biopic about her has the potential to be gorgeously shot and FASCINATING and really play on the visually-told-story-about-a-word-oriented-person thing, which is something I always love. GUS WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THIS QUESTION
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leupagus:
knopeworthy:
BABY RICHARD
NO FUCKING WAY
leupagus: I found the most attractive picture of Thorin ever
leupagus: GO ME
gyzym: oh my god
leupagus: IT’S SO AMAZING
gyzym: THORIN WHEN HE WAS KILI’S AGE
gyzym: SO YOUNG
gyzym: NOT YET SO TRAGIC
leupagus: SO INNOCENT
leupagus: LIFE WAS NOT YET TOTAL BALLS
leupagus: even though he hadn’t gotten his beard in yet, v. sad
gyzym: THORIN SHAVENFACE
leupagus: YES
leupagus: THORIN SHAVENFACE
leupagus: his first name
gyzym: followed by thorin weepingtears
leupagus: really thank God he went to Moria
leupagus: because Thorin Hissyfit was getting kind of annoying
leupagus: For a while when he was working Amongst The World Of Men
leupagus: It was Thorin Fuckstallladies
gyzym: fsjhfskdjlfha;fh;kHAJSKDFDSKFJAD;Fjfsdfds
leupagus: but everybody agreed Oakenshield was probs better
leupagus: plus handy double entendre, it could be about his penis!
gyzym: very briefly during the hobbit thorin howdareyoufuckthatelfking was considered
gyzym: but he vetoed it
leupagus: so everybody called him Thorin Notgettingany for a couple days
gyzym: and then natch it became thorin bedshalflings
leupagus: ahahaha
leupagus: and then after they have their huge breakup and he kicks Bilbo out of Erebor
leupagus: it’s Thorin Fuckedthatup
leupagus:
leupagus: ugh Legolas
you feelings-impaired twit
gyzym: his feelings are so impaired gus
leupagus: oh my God Imma have so much fun writing from Gimli’s pov about his emotionally constipated wife
gyzym: IT’S OKAY EROTIC HAIR-BRAIDING WILL FIX THEM.
leupagus: IT HAD BETTER
gyzym: sentences i cannot believe i have typed: a life
i cannot overstate the degree to which i will never recover from writing this story
leupagus: poor Gimli
leupagus: he’s still so young
leupagus: so fresh-faced
leupagus: …is Gimli a virgin?
leupagus: IS THAT A QUESTION I JUST ASKED
gyzym: ….well, not anymore
leupagus: ahaha
leupagus: Legolas you cad
gyzym: i feel like
gyzym: at some point
gyzym: gimli did at least have like
gyzym: awkward What’s Under Our Beards Friend?
gyzym: type sex
gyzym: like embarrassing dwarf teenager sex
leupagus: but on the other hand
leupagus: how amazing would it be if they roll up to Erebor
leupagus: and Gloin’s like
leupagus: WELL I CAN’T SAY I’M HAPPY
leupagus: but considering he despoiled you the least he could do is put a ring on it
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