not language but a map

writer, reader, eater of bagels. cracking inappropriate jokes to cut tension since 1989.
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#khaleesi

misscarletwitch asked: can a girl get some stevebucky fanfic recs I'm wading through shit while praying to god over here

okay so, with full disclosure that i am the single worst person on the face of the planet to ask for fic recs, because i almost never bookmark things or, indeed, remember the titles or authors of things i have read, HERE ARE SOME THINGS I AM LOVING OF LATE:

  • obviously, postcard’s Беда́ не прихо́дит одна́ (trouble never comes alone), which is the single best bucky barnes fic ever written in the history of time and which everyone should read, even though it’s not stevebucky except in the sense that it is a story about bucky, and thus inherently implies an eventual story about steve. basically: the winter soldier throughout history. [written pre-catws]
  • ALSO, postcard’s i’ve been in your body and it was a carnival ride, in which steve rogers has bucky barnes’s serial numbers underneath his skin in every conceivable sense. [written pre-catws.]
  • if you or anyone else has not yet read morgan’s we did not make ourselves, obviously also get on that post-haste. it is agony. it is pure. agony. [post catws]
  • SPEAKING OF AGONY, nat’s this is a back alley will make you want to claw your eyes out. SO MUCH AGONY. IN THIS FANDOM. SO ANGUISH. VERY DESPAIR. [post catws]
  • so, on the lighter side: ifeelbetter’s soft spot for the hell raisin’ boy, which is hilarious and adorable and has been my happy place for the last week or so. FROM SCRATCH OR NOT AT ALL. [post catws]
  • also adorable and h i l a r i o u s is erin’s selfies from the underground, which i have read at least six times already and which i have quoted to multiple real life people while trying to have conversations about catws, much to their confusion/dismay. [post catws]
  • i just read sholio’s the care and feeding of traumatized ex-assassins last night and really really enjoyed it; it’s basically bucky sneaking in and out of steve’s apartment like the most skittish/murderous stray cat of all time, and i think that’s beautiful. [post catws]

i’ve read a bunch of other good fic in this fandom but i don’t know where it is right now!! if i think of more i will post them, but in the meantime, i hope this helps :D :D :D 

imagekhaleesi replied to your post: hollyandvice replied to your post:…

now I kind of want to write microfiction about adulthood, specifically the Mythical Graceful Adult

The Graceful Adult Chronicles, starring Literally No One, Not Even That One Person You Spent Your Whole Life Thinking Was A Graceful Adult, They Totally Spat Milk Out Their Nose While Laughing At A Fancy Dinner Just Last Week  

misscarletwitch asked: tell me you've seen the Three Musketeers from like a year ago with Orlando Bloom in it. tell me that glorious clusterfuck of a non-film has graced your eyes.

omg i have not, THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN POST-HASTE OMG, it’s orlando bloom and terrible cinema and orlando bloom in terrible cinema, BEHOLD ALL MY GREATEST LOVES COMBINED 

imagekhaleesi replied to your post: wildbeardedbrownmanontheinternet replied to your…

A SHIP THAT LEGOLAS BUILDS HIMSELF AFTER HE AND GIMLI GET BORED WITH THE KINGDOMS THEY’VE FOUNDED WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE OF EACH OTHER

their next door kingdoms are actually my favorite thing though, like YOU KNOW legolas spent some years in the glittering caves and was finally like “nO GIMLI NO I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE MY DAD’S COURT WAS UNDERGROUND YOUR COURT IS UNDERGROUND I CANNOT SHOOT ARROWS DOWN HERE BECAUSE THEY JUST BOUNCE OFF THE ROCKS?!?!?!? I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE YOU CAN’T MAKE ME MY HAIR DOES NOT BILLOW IN THE WIND BECAUSE THERE IS NO WIND I DON’T EVEN LIKE THINGS THAT GLITTER?!?!!?!? I WANT TO GLITTER GIMLI, MEEEEEEEE” 

and gimli just sort of raised an eyebrow and was like, “i am well-pleased with my home as it is, but please feel free to build yourself an above-ground mancave if it’ll make you feel better, don’t be late for dinner” 

and legolas was like “I WILL INDEED BUILD MYSELF AN ABOVE GROUND MAN-CAVE AND I WILL SHOOT ALL THE ARROWS AND NOTHING WILL GLITTER BUT ME,” only he’s an elf and an overachiever and it became an entire city whoops. but it’s not really a problem because legolas likes doing the run back and forth between the caves and ithilien even if gimli does totally laugh at him every time he goes to ithilien because “really, laddie, you named it moon-land, of all the ridiculous things” and legolas is like “shut up gimli it’s not like ‘the glittering caves’ is any better” and doesn’t mention all the assorted woodland creatures he named like, ~starlight and ~sunshine and ~thunderstorm as a child.