not language but a map

khaleesi replied to your post: hollyandvice replied to your post:…

now I kind of want to write microfiction about adulthood, specifically the Mythical Graceful Adult

The Graceful Adult Chronicles, starring Literally No One, Not Even That One Person You Spent Your Whole Life Thinking Was A Graceful Adult, They Totally Spat Milk Out Their Nose While Laughing At A Fancy Dinner Just Last Week  

mrs. robinson get dooOoOoOoOoWn good lord

here’s to you, the original rump shakers

SHORTY GET DOWN, MRS. ROBINSON

cover much ground, got game by the pound
but most of all you’ve got to hide it from the kids 

khaleesi replied to your post: tell me you’ve seen the Three Musketeers from like…

OH MY GOD I JUST SPAT WATER ALL OVER MY SCREEN

I HATE YOU ORLANDO BLOOM I HATE YOU FOREVER I HATE YOU SO MUCH

khaleesi asked: tell me you've seen the Three Musketeers from like a year ago with Orlando Bloom in it. tell me that glorious clusterfuck of a non-film has graced your eyes.

omg i have not, THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN POST-HASTE OMG, it’s orlando bloom and terrible cinema and orlando bloom in terrible cinema, BEHOLD ALL MY GREATEST LOVES COMBINED 

khaleesi replied to your post: wildbeardedbrownmanontheinternet replied to your…

A SHIP THAT LEGOLAS BUILDS HIMSELF AFTER HE AND GIMLI GET BORED WITH THE KINGDOMS THEY’VE FOUNDED WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE OF EACH OTHER

their next door kingdoms are actually my favorite thing though, like YOU KNOW legolas spent some years in the glittering caves and was finally like “nO GIMLI NO I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE MY DAD’S COURT WAS UNDERGROUND YOUR COURT IS UNDERGROUND I CANNOT SHOOT ARROWS DOWN HERE BECAUSE THEY JUST BOUNCE OFF THE ROCKS?!?!?!? I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE YOU CAN’T MAKE ME MY HAIR DOES NOT BILLOW IN THE WIND BECAUSE THERE IS NO WIND I DON’T EVEN LIKE THINGS THAT GLITTER?!?!!?!? I WANT TO GLITTER GIMLI, MEEEEEEEE” 

and gimli just sort of raised an eyebrow and was like, “i am well-pleased with my home as it is, but please feel free to build yourself an above-ground mancave if it’ll make you feel better, don’t be late for dinner” 

and legolas was like “I WILL INDEED BUILD MYSELF AN ABOVE GROUND MAN-CAVE AND I WILL SHOOT ALL THE ARROWS AND NOTHING WILL GLITTER BUT ME,” only he’s an elf and an overachiever and it became an entire city whoops. but it’s not really a problem because legolas likes doing the run back and forth between the caves and ithilien even if gimli does totally laugh at him every time he goes to ithilien because “really, laddie, you named it moon-land, of all the ridiculous things” and legolas is like “shut up gimli it’s not like ‘the glittering caves’ is any better” and doesn’t mention all the assorted woodland creatures he named like, ~starlight and ~sunshine and ~thunderstorm as a child. 

khaleesi asked: legolas and gimli braiding their hair into their hair as a sign of affection in bed

BRB ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR SOBBING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WHYYYYYYYYYYY