Okay, look, here’s the thing: I’m not going to threaten to stop watching you, True Blood, because we all know that as long as Eric is still part of the equation, I’m going to be incapable of missing an episode. I know that, you know that, Alexander Skarsgard knows that—in fact, I’m sure Alexander Skarsgard is sitting somewhere right now, watching tonight’s ep, thinking “Wow, everyone is totally watching this show because of me.” I’m not going to threaten to stop watching you, True Blood, because it would be an empty threat, but we need to talk about what you did tonight, okay? We need to talk about what you did, because it was not cool.
See, True Blood, I’ve hated Bill Compton since season one. In fact, this show could be called Truly Large Amounts of Growing Agonized Hatred For Bill Fucking Compton Who Is A Fuck; that would be a more accurate title, at least for me. He has always been a manipulative, demeaning, misogynistic ass, but what happened tonight? What happened tonight made your show a manipulative, demeaning, misogynistic ass, and I am not down with that shit.
I could have lived with it, you see, if you’d just had Bill Compton whine at Sookie for lying. Considering Bill’s track record with the truth on this show, that is the most hypocritical bullshit ever, but hypocritical bullshit is very in-character for Bill, so fine. I made some faces at him ordering the murder of another vampire for sleeping with a woman who is no longer interested in him like she isn’t capable of making her own fucking decisions, but Sookie called him on that, so, okay, you know what, I can let it go. At least someone said something. Hell, I could even have lived with it when Bill, moments before he’s about to stake Eric, decides to show mercy because Eric just wants Sookie to be happy—it pissed me the fuck off, because a) Really? It was that shit that convinced you to let him go, not the part where he was honestly regretful of crimes he couldn’t remember? And, more importantly, b) REALLY? SOOKIE ASKED YOU TO SPARE HIS LIFE NOT A FUCKING HOUR AGO FOR THE SAKE OF HER HAPPINESS, BUT IT’S THE MAAAAAAAN INDICATING THAT HE’S INTERESTED IN HER HAPPINESS AND PROTECTION THAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE THIS IS A BAD THING TO DO? REALLY? REALLY, TRUE BLOOD? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY FUCKING STEREOTYPES THAT REINFORCES? WHICH, HEY, ON THIS SHOW, WHERE WOMEN ARE REFERRED AS POSSESSIONS ON A REGULAR BASIS, IS MAYBE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TRY TO DO A LITTLE LESS OF, AND—
But no, you know what, I could have gotten over that too, because it’s a character being an ass and you know what, whatever, fine.
HERE IS WHERE YOU FUCKING LOST ME: do not. Do. Not. Show me sad fucking Bill on his sad fucking porch with his sad fucking nonsensical blood snifter and the sad fucking moon. Poor Bill, with all his love for Sookie, left in the cold harsh night all by his widdle self—no. No. FUCK YOU. Characters that treat women badly and order murders out of jealously and ignore the thoughts and feelings and needs and GENUINE OUTRIGHT REQUESTS of the people they claim to love do not get to have the fucking sympathy violins, okay?
Do not try to make me feel bad for Bill fucking Compton. He does not deserve my goddamn sympathy. Christ.
